EXTRA EXTRA! First Blog Ever! Corporate Welfare or Bust!

I have been threatening to blog for quite a while, and I have chosen to begin today, September 24, 2008, a day on which we are facing an historical $700 billion bailout of the bankers and lenders of America – corporate welfare, no? – or else we will all end up homeless and poverty stricken. Panic! Terror! No one really seems to understand what all is involved in this quagmire of sub-prime mortgages and non-liquid assets and mortgages all lumped together and sold to third parties, only to be broken up again and sold to fourth parties. The pundits don’t get it. I certainly don’t get it. Even the Congressional and Senate Finance Committee members don’t get it. Four guys seem to get it. The four guys Bush is working with…those four guys.

Candidate McCain has just announced that he has suspended his campaign because the congressional/senate committees, with the help of the four guys (who are said to be the most learned economics experts in the country – one is neutral), need his experience and heroism immediately and who knows for how long. Even the upcoming Presidential debate is in jeopardy, McCain is so integral to the solving of this economic catastrophe. Most Dems and Repubs, both official and laymen, along with the MEDIA, are gobsmacked. Truth is? I’ve been pleasantly surprised by many of the Repubs, who are not going into that good night gently. The American public? Pissed awf.

Is this a McCain stunt, a la the “gas holiday,” and the Barbie Bitch Palin? Is this an economic disaster that only POW Superhero McCain can miraculously and tidily fix? If that happens, everything evil about politics I have suspected is true. When you eliminate the sadness and anger, it’s really kind of funny. It's literally fantastic that a group of people could wreak such havoc with American rules and laws and social standards, whilst laughing all the way to their yachts. When you write anonymously on an anonyomous tool of communication, the Internet, you can write whatever you want, correct? I have a lot to write. I hope very little of it will be about McCain.

I saw Naomi Klein on Bill Maher's HBO show yesterday. I love that show.

*half the people reading this click out* 

I know, he can be weasely, and I hate when he talks about sex, but he provides the very best forum for open conversation on TV today, and there are usually a lot of yuks. I know I’ll always be infotained. Anyway, Klein's theory (I’ve not yet read the book) in The Shock Doctrine is that Bush and Sons Inc. create disasters in order to finally fix them, employing their friends, of course.

I’ve read many, many “conspiracy theories.” I hate that term. It connotes craziness. Some things that were considered “conspiracy theories” at first have gone on to become absolutely true. Some “conspiracy theories” are so in your face it’s a wonder everyone can’t see them. It’s like a remote control car that keeps knocking willy nilly against the wall. Over and over and over. Are people blind or crazy or stubborn not to see what is so blatantly obvious? The weather, for example, has been wildly abnormal. What could be the cause? Could it be deeper than the now obvious global warming?

Why do we need this extremely complex economic malfunction remedied, like, yesterday? No one has sufficiently explained the answer to that question yet. The public clearly distrusts politicians in general. Will we, as American citizens, collectively get it this time? Orrin Hatch assures us that this is typical hero behavior from the hero McCain. It’s all Clinton’s fault, anyway, he says. He redlined these crappy loans in the first place, Orrin declares. Maxine Waters proclaims that "they did not have their eye on the ball." I'll bet GWB lurved him some sub prime loans, though.  He probably plays horseshoes with the guys who somehow got rich off it all.

Lou Dobbs has found a way to blame the illegal immigrants. Really? Geez, I’ve never seen Barney Franks look so beat, man. What if the problem is even worse than we think? What if there is no crisis at all, but for the fast-talking of the red-colored ones. (Hey – that’s a little like the Bloods and the Crips. One side wear blue - the Crips - and the other side wear red - the Bloods. Street gangs fascinate me, as do issues of race.) Anyway, we Americans are so silly with the taking of sides and assigning of colors – like sports teams and racism. 

McCain should be on the phone right now to Chris Matthews telling him to shut his pie-hole about the Debate. If he doesn’t show up, he’s toast...and we'll be toasting. I’m sure he’ll go, though. Ah – I’m vindicated by Clarence Page of the Chicago Times. McCain BETTER debate. He was supposed to be the master debater, right? Not to be confused with...yeah.

Since this is my first blog ever, I feel I should make some sort of Mission Statement. How will you know what you can look forward to reading, otherwise? Let’s say I plan to address a wide scope of topics: Religion and politics will be biggies. Not cocktail chat. Race and racism, culture (both real and manufactured), philosophy, entertainment! I’m an L.A. girl at heart though I have lived in San Francisco for a long time. I feel safe here. I will probably write whatever I feel like writing at any given time but I imagine my character will reveal itself very early. Today I’m focusing on this indeed historic day, when corporate welfare with a dash of socialism made its debut in full blossoming color. Most of it red.

Forty percent of Americans think that Sarah Palin is capable of being President. "The bigotry of low expectations." That’s a rawkin' GWB quote, in fact. How is it that McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis, was receiving $30,000 from Fannie Mae every month until last month? Is anyone out there alarmed by this fact? Obama’s numbers should be soaring, though polls aren't worth a single turd, I say. Maybe the Republican Party really has gone FUBAR? Bush has now, even as I write, invited Obama and McCain to a confab tomorrow, perhaps in an effort to repair being FUBAR. Bush and McCain will save the day together. 

Hey! I like sports!

That’s for all of you guys out there, lest you think I’m a whiny, liberal, underarm hair growing nazifem hippie type. Let me just share that I am one edgy chick. Concrete Jungle Queen am I. Eighty percent Fury and twenty percent kitten.

Oh, my. As I write while following the news, I see that we finally have a joint statement from Obama and McCain. Only Obama has written an attached non-joint statement. They’ll definitely call that uppity. I think it’s amusing that he demanded to have his own statement “protecting” the little guy. And now that things are at status quo on the political/corporate welfare front, I can watch America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway tonight.

National Rescue Plan. That must be newspeak for bailout. GWB looks great! He’s tan and less wrinkly than usual. G. “Frat Boy” W.B. looks downright calm. He has toned down his inner cowboy vibe and he appears somehow unnecessary. He says our “entire econmoy” is in danger. Mayhem is waiting to descend. My first question is – why did we just find out about this and why do we have to react IMMEDIATELY? Henny Penny, the sky is falling! Or, this could be a genuine crisis. It’s impossible to tell right now. I wonder what Naomi Klein has to say. Disaster…fix-it. Imagine if they’d moved their asses after Katrina.

As we approach the end of the newsday (only Anderson Cooper 360 is left and cute as he is, I don’t think he’s an economics whiz), the general feeling is not panic, but confusion. Widespread confusion; Confusion at the Disco!; confusion-stricken; confusion attack; confusion in the streets!   

I hope ANTM is good tonight.