Are You Joking?

Pinch me.

Barack Hussein Obama actually won the election for the president of the United States?

I feel wordless, but I also feel compelled to describe what's going on in my head, you know, for posterity. I'm not sure what it feels like to think of the executive branch of my country with hope and warmth. I haven't even really thought of it as MY country for the past decade (roughly around the time of Monica Lewinsky - I was entirely too care free during the Reagan years). I've grown accustomed to associating the presidency with the face of a snarling Cheney. I'm a jinx, though! My guys never win! The opinions I have are so different from most of the rest of my fellow citizens. Or are they?

I don't have to keep those "Move to Costa Rica" junk e-mails any more! In the space of a few hours, I feel like an entirely different American. I have faith now that this wacky experiment of a democratic meritocracy CAN carry on for a while longer. I know the whole world (except maybe Al Qaeda) is ecstatic - hell, they're even happier than we are! I don't have to be embarrassed to identify myself as American when I'm traveling any longer.

This is just...not what I expected. I thought we were headed down an irreversible road to ruin - that the corporations had won and we were all just sheeple, zombified by our HDTVs. But I'm betting Obama knows how to play with these renegade corporations; he uses them to his benefit whenever possible. I like that Obama wants to one-up these old white guys who need multiple millions of dollars to stick in their coffers while tens of thousands of sick people sleep in the street.

I know there won't be miraculous changes immediately. It's going to take a long time to fix the mess, and more messes will be created along the way. It's the only word I can think of (though it reminds me of Oprah, who I can't stand): HOPE. Corny, but meaningful!

Now I can go back to snarking on celebrities and truly enjoying reality TV. I can make another stab at trying to understand string theory and I can read biographies about Stephen Hawkings and Heidi Fleiss. I can think again! The election withdrawal will be replaced by watching Obama inspire his staff, and people in general, to clean shit up and start fresh. It's even possible now that the citizens of the U.S.A. will rise to the occasion en masse and things will be better! Again, I say: Pinch me.

The election wasn't stolen. Nobody would stoop that low (well, a few people stooped pretty low). We actually have a president on the same day as the election! Everything went according to plan - my side's plan, anyway. Is it too much to ponder that we won't have sides anymore? Bah. That's for the future.

We must all hope that Cheney doesn't bomb Iran next (after Syria last week) - he's only got a short time to fulfill his ya ya's.

Congratulations, world! Maybe it's not as bad as we thought! It could be a watershed moment, am I right?